When we arrived it was time to get settled and get to the dining hall to have to some dinner. I sat in silence because the last couple of weeks were exhausting. I was extremely tired emotionally and physically. I so badly wanted to join in on different topics, but just have the words. I looked at our booklet and our first session was over Gracious Submission, the second was over Gracious Speech, and the last session was over Gracious Forgiveness. Uh-Oh was my first thought and impression. The worship leader and speaker were both from The Village Church. We sang our praise and when we sat down I just wanted to relax and have a good word from God on our direction in ministry. You know a big clear voice saying, "Sarah you will do 'x' and 'y' will happen..and you will be greatly blessed with 'z'." JUST KIDDING! That has never happened to me, but I certainly wasn't expecting God to show me so many things over the weekend.
For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. 12 It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, 13 while we wait for the blessed hope—the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ, 14 who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good.~Titus 2:11-14 NIV
Gracious Submission
A gracious woman knows that life is not about her. One of the first things that she said was that grace is completely one sided. God describes himself in Exodus 3:1-4 as I AM. Moses wasn't very submissive and made lots of excuses why he wasn't a good pick to lead his people out of Egypt. Submission is yielding oneself to the authority of another. To me, when I hear the word submission I think about Ephesians 4:22. I have heard sermons on that quite a bit. This submission was more about our submission to God. If we are not careful our worship can become self focused instead of God focused. Pride comes before the fall....I have heard this quote pretty often and for some reason, I have struggled a little with this. My heart can become so hard toward God with just neglecting to spend time in His word. Even the songs that we sing are only about us and God. There are only a few that are on the unity of the body. Most are focused on us and what we are doing..not really focused on God and his amazing love and grace. This self focused worship goes into other areas: service, prayer, reading the Bible, and evangelism. I never noticed that when I was reading the Bible that I was treating as "an magic 8 ball". (hold the Bible in our hands and ask, "what verse can I get to help me through this situation?") This all sounds a little harsh, but our speaker spoke out of the most humble and loving way. She has dealt with these same issues. I went to bed that night overwhelmed with all the thoughts. I couldn't help but feel a little guilty for neglecting my appreciation for the gift Christ freely gave for me.
Gracious Speech
A gracious woman know when and how to use her words. I knew I had this one beat. I didn't use profanity that was good enough, right?! Not quite! The supreme act of self-control is to tame the tongue. (James 3) Our words are packed with power. We were asked for some words that we used to use that are not so cool to use anymore. My fellow minister's wife and I said in unison, "rad"...I know seems odd, but I used to use that a lot when I was younger. Words have to power to create confidence, trust, and feeling. Words also have the power to destroy character, relationship, and communication. Our speaker urged us to all behave as if all our words are being recorded. Before we left on Friday, I had a little time to sit in the stillness of the church and I started to read in Job 19 (it was a Job kinda day-feeling a little exhausted). God has a way of preparing your heart for something. I read through this passage over and over that weekend. When she said to behave as though our words are recorded because God can hear them. (Job 19:23) It seemed so familiar to me. Something I am still trying to learn is that less is more, think before you speak, recognizing and speaking words from the heart. So, I went to take a break from this over load of scripture and information. So many times we hear someone talking badly about us or ripping us to shreds, we want justice..we want to put them in their place, make them feel as badly as they made us feel. On the flip side of that coin, when we mess us and say something badly or degrade someones character...we beg for mercy...we ask for grace...we expect that eventually they will get over it and forget. We all just so badly want to have what is coming to us, right?! I have opened my mouth way too many times and said things I only wished I could take back...and I have also seen that mercy was needed in situations because I had been there so many times before. When we cause our sister or brother to be burdened with what we may have lashed out in a thoughtless moment, it is terrible how we aren't more careful with our words.
Gracious Forgiveness
A gracious woman know how to set aside anger. WOW, we had to take an 'anger test'. Let me just say that I don't have a huge problem of holding on to anger....or so I thought. This test made me take a second look at myself. I think that there has been something under the surface of my life that I could hide away and only be upset about it when I wanted to. We heard that emotions are not right or wrong, they are neutral. I know that my emotions can get the better of me. I try not to let my emotions take control of my life, but when I am slandered, in a losing situation-no matter the 'solution' it's a lose lose , or my family is attacked, I tend to get angry, mad, upset, vengeful (though I may not act on it). Anger is not sin; what we do with anger is where the danger lies. Our actions spring from our thoughts. There was a quote that said something to the affect of: "the person you are today is the product of what you have spent the last three months dwelling on." Ok, for example, if you have been dwelling on accumulating stuff..your house is filling up. Jesus was angry in several places of the Bible. When our anger turns from a strong feeling of displeasure to the act of despising someone (contempt), that is when we sin. In recent months, I have had something that has been eating at me..yes, some anger toward a situation that I had no control over. When this part of the study came up, I thought that I couldn't possibly still be that angry over that?!! The more our speaker talk...the more I could feel God poking me on the shoulder. Our Speaker said that Jesus was also the picture of forgiveness and grace. When Christ was on the cross. He didn't cry out "You FOOLS!" No, He cried out, "Father, forgive them! They know not what they do!" Man, it humbles me to remember that fact. Those who stood in front of Him were ignorant to what they were doing and yet he forgave us all. How much more should I forgive this past situation? Even though I can't tell them just how I feel because that doesn't really matter. It would only cause them more harm than good. Today, our pastor taught out of 2 Chronicles 7:14. Here I was faced with reconciliation. Ok, Lord, I lay it at your alter. I give up my need for being right, for being justified. I give it all up.
1 comment:
shall be rereading this post lots of wisdom here. thanks for sharing.....
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